Why?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
why
Lately I just want to ask God why. I don't just want to ask, I want Him to really answer. Really. Because it feels pretty unfulfilling right now to hear someone say if I just have a desire to serve, He will send me. I had that desire, I have had that desire, and I'm home right now. Why did I even go just to be hurt in coming back? It's not even like I'm sad in coming home at the end of the year. . . I'm just wounded and I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know what happens next, and I just feel like giving up.
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2 comments:
I got to have dinner with Jennie Pino last night! Was so great to connect with her! We talked a little of you and the situation... and know that we both LOVE you and SUPPORT you in all of this. We both get fired up with the injustices that have & continue to come your way! and We are fighting for you in prayer! God promises that He is always up to something! (for our good) and though it feels like you've been thrown in the well like Joseph.. remember God had amazing plans to redeem that too! =0) I LOVE you sooo much Ali!
Ali, you've got to read some missionary bios, it will give you some great perspective...it's what I often do. The road you're on, most never make it. Those who do, have been broken and rebuilt to withstand the innumerable bumps and challenges along the way. I believe God's in the process now of making you into someone he can use in big ways around the world. We're not born that way and it doesn't only happen when we're 0-18. God is making someone he can use and he often uses many of the ingredients that are currently present in your life.
If something like this knocks you off the path, you weren't going to make it very far anyways.
If it doesn't...THEN...you're much closer to experiencing God's best for you than you were 2 short months ago, and you just might have what it takes. ;)
We're still figuring out if I have what it takes...this isn't coming from one who has it figured out...no...one who is figurING it out.
you rock ali, don't give up.
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