The past weeks in short review

I have been reaaaally bad about updating lately. My bad!! I've been sooo busy lately and honestly haven't had the time to update. I've wanted to. Many, many times. Oooh, I have wanted to. There have been things these past few weeks that have hurt me to the point of being in tears and praying that God would just remind me that I live for and serve Him ALONE, and then there have been times where I have been overjoyed and cannot praise God enough for the newness and joy of so many things I am experiencing and learning about here. I have experienced a range of emotions and learned sooo many things; I feel like I live a month with each passing week by the amount of stuff that goes on in one of these weeks lately. So, sorry that the past few weeks have been a mystery. I'll start by saying one of the main reasons I have been so crammed with stuff lately. 

So, on Friday the 12th after school got out, Robin, the school administrator and the husband of the family I am living with, called me into his office for an "urgent meeting" and I have to admit, I was a little nervous. Like, maybe I was doing something wrong. But no, apparently that was not the case at all. What happened was that the english professor, Raul, had to leave Emmanuel because he was offered a job as an engineer (which is his passion) in Cuenca. And Robin just found out that day, which isn't uncommon here (you know, in the states we have the whole "two week notice" thing, but that isn't really enforced here). So Robin had called me in to let me know that I would from now on in be responsible for teaching english to the kinder through 6th grade students. I would no longer be teaching any computer classes, and would no longer have the responsibilities of the library. Which, although it is quite the hefty task to take on, I was overjoyed when he told me. It was SUCH an answer to prayer that I never saw coming. I was just feeling a little bummed about teaching computer classes and only 4 english classes, because I really wanted to do my best, but didn't feel gifted in the area of teaching computers. So I was praying that God would just continue to give me a servant's heart in the matter, and to remember I am here to serve wherever the need is. So, I was asking God to help me surrender my plans and embrace His. And then He showed me His plans involved a little change that I can't thank Him enough for. 

Well, I am discovering it really is quite the daunting task teaching 7 different grades of english. They all use different books, so there are literally seven different teacher books to go through and plan out lessons. And I can't just plan straight from the book; there's also interactive activities to plan, there's grading to do when kids finish homework from the work book. . . there's A LOT. And today I was just feeling really overwhelmed by it all. First of all, because monday is my busiest day (I have five english classes on mondays) and second of all, because majority of the students didn't do their homework and the 3rd graders just plain didn't remember/get anything from last thursdays' lesson. So I was just feeling really overwhelmed and vulnerable to spiritual attack. Like, as soon as one of the third graders told me they didn't do their homework because they really didn't understand, I immediately thought "it's cause I'm a bad teacher." I knew it was a spiritual attack, but it sounded so true in the moment. 

So later I was sitting in the "library" (it's really not much of a library right about now) trying to grade papers but not being able to because I was just feeling really low, when a friend walked in and asked what was the matter. I told him that everything was just not coming together right about now and I was feeling like I just want to teach the students to the best of my ability but I feel like I'm not doing that, and I feel like a bad teacher if they don't get it, and I just feel plain overwhelmed. He said a lot of very encouraging things. Including reminding me of some truths that I was forgetting lately: considering the fact that I have never gone to college, I just had to pick up 4 new english classes in one weekend, of course I'm going to feel overwhelmed. But the fact is that whether or not I have a college education isn't what will carry me or make me a better teacher here; the fact that I am here teaching because I have a desire to serve and a passion to teach and I absolutely adore kids, THAT is what will keep me here and make me the best teacher I could possibly be. And, most important of all, God is never going to leave me to do this on my own. Ever. I need to remember to put my trust in Him. He is my rock and my redeemer. 

Those were good encouraging words. I think it can just be overwhelming when I feel like there is so much I would like to do with the kids, but not enough class time or not enough time to prep. But it's ok. I serve a Mighty God. He is where I find my strength and where I place my trust. 

Some really, REALLY great news lately: I have had the blessing lately to begin discipling a girl one-on-one here. She is about 17 and recently decided to return to the church. Edison knows her pretty well, and she said she was wanting to get back involved, but really wanted to have someone lead her in a sort of Bible study to really get a solid faith base going. Edison suggested me, and we met last week and I'll be getting together with her again later today, which I'm really excited about. She's really a sweet girl with a genuine heart. I'm so blessed and humbled by this opportunity to be used in her life. I look forward to the ways that I will grow and be stretched in this time as well. Yay God! :)

I Belong Here

Today was the first day with students. It was a gorgeous day from the beginning. Classes start at 7:30, and I didn't have an English class until 9:15, so I had some time just to spend with kids and get to know some of them and see their excited faces for the first day of school. One of the little girls who came was crying and didn't want to go into class. She's in 4to de Basica (3rd grade), in Edison's class, and was standing at the gate clinging to her mother and balling. Edison was trying to get her to come into the school, but she refused to let go of her mom. Edison kept looking back towards his classroom and I could tell he was thinking that he should go back with his student, so I asked if I could stay with the girl. Her name is Nayeli. After her mom finally pried Nayeli's death grip from her arm, Nayeli was sobbing uncontrollably. I stood next to her and rubbed her back, and just waited until she calmed down a bit. After she had stopped crying, she still didn't want to leave the gate, so I stood with her and asked her questions about her summer vacation, her family, what were some of her favorite school subjects. . . lots of different things to take her mind off of missing her mom. She didn't want to go into the classroom, so I told her that was ok, that we could just hang out and we would go to the class when she was ready. I gave her the option of going to look at the new computer lab and library, and she liked that idea so after 30 minutes of standing in front of the school gate, we made some progress by going into the school. Her class was going outside to do an activity, and I asked if she would like to see the classroom while the kids are out. She said yes, so she accompanied me to look at the room. We found her desk and set her backpack there, then she accompanied me to the 3to de Basica classroom because they were my first english class today. They are sooo adorable!! I introduced myself and taught the kids a simple good morning song, and asked them what they think they would like about english. They said they loved singing english songs. :) We played a name game, and then the class was over. After that, I led an activity with Edwin, the language professor for the secondary kids (grades 7 - 9), since he and I will be paired up leading a reading activity sort of like "big brother, big sister" with kids from 3rd/6th grade, and then 2nd/7th grade. we played a game I learned at camp, and they LOVED it. It made me laugh to see them play, and Nayeli helped me lead the game. After that, we had snack time in the cafeteria, and Nayeli told me that after recess she felt ready to go to class. I was so excited for her! I took her to the classroom and sat with her for a few minutes, and then went to go see Ivonne. I was telling her about Nayeli, and how excited I was that she made it into the classroom, and Ivonne told me that Nayeli has had a very rough last few months. Her father passed away from a brain tumor in May, and this is her first year at Emmanuel because of a scholarship that the family received. She has been taking a lot of her mother's pain from losing her father, and feels responsible for her mother's happiness a lot lately. My heart sank just thinking how much weight she was carrying on such tiny shoulders. But at the same time, when we were at recess playing a game, I saw her smile for the first time that day. And we talked a bit when we went into the library, and it was such a joy and a blessing to witness her open up a little bit more. 

I went back into the classroom ten minutes before the bell was going to ring to end the day to say goodbye to Nayeli and the rest of the kids. In Ecuador, when the kids leave, they all kiss the professor (girls kiss the male and female professors on the cheek, and boys kiss the female professors, but shake the hands of the male professors). So while they were getting their things in their backpacks, Edison said "besa la señorita" and I received 23 sets of arms around my beck to pull my head down to their level, accompanied with 23 sweet little kisses on my cheek. It made my day!! 

Today was such a beautiful day. Not because of the weather, but because of the joy of having the kids in school and having such a prominent feeling of purpose and belonging throughout the day. I am so thankful that God has called me here this year. I am in love with these kids already! When I went into the 3to de Basica class for the English lesson, I asked if any of the kids remembered my name from the Inauguration ceremony the day before. One of the girls raised her hand, and said "your name is Ali, and you have the most beautiful singing voice I've ever heard!" :) At the inauguration, I sang "Open the Eyes of My Heart" after Samuel sang it in spanish. 

I am so excited to be a part of these kids lives this year, and to get to know the girls who will be in the discipleship group. It is so excited to now have started the school year!! 

What a beautiful day. 

"Because your love is better than life, 

my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live, 

and in your name I will lift up my hands. 

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise you. . .

my soul clings to you, 

Your right hand upholds me."

-Psalm 63:3-5; 8