The past weeks in short review

I have been reaaaally bad about updating lately. My bad!! I've been sooo busy lately and honestly haven't had the time to update. I've wanted to. Many, many times. Oooh, I have wanted to. There have been things these past few weeks that have hurt me to the point of being in tears and praying that God would just remind me that I live for and serve Him ALONE, and then there have been times where I have been overjoyed and cannot praise God enough for the newness and joy of so many things I am experiencing and learning about here. I have experienced a range of emotions and learned sooo many things; I feel like I live a month with each passing week by the amount of stuff that goes on in one of these weeks lately. So, sorry that the past few weeks have been a mystery. I'll start by saying one of the main reasons I have been so crammed with stuff lately. 

So, on Friday the 12th after school got out, Robin, the school administrator and the husband of the family I am living with, called me into his office for an "urgent meeting" and I have to admit, I was a little nervous. Like, maybe I was doing something wrong. But no, apparently that was not the case at all. What happened was that the english professor, Raul, had to leave Emmanuel because he was offered a job as an engineer (which is his passion) in Cuenca. And Robin just found out that day, which isn't uncommon here (you know, in the states we have the whole "two week notice" thing, but that isn't really enforced here). So Robin had called me in to let me know that I would from now on in be responsible for teaching english to the kinder through 6th grade students. I would no longer be teaching any computer classes, and would no longer have the responsibilities of the library. Which, although it is quite the hefty task to take on, I was overjoyed when he told me. It was SUCH an answer to prayer that I never saw coming. I was just feeling a little bummed about teaching computer classes and only 4 english classes, because I really wanted to do my best, but didn't feel gifted in the area of teaching computers. So I was praying that God would just continue to give me a servant's heart in the matter, and to remember I am here to serve wherever the need is. So, I was asking God to help me surrender my plans and embrace His. And then He showed me His plans involved a little change that I can't thank Him enough for. 

Well, I am discovering it really is quite the daunting task teaching 7 different grades of english. They all use different books, so there are literally seven different teacher books to go through and plan out lessons. And I can't just plan straight from the book; there's also interactive activities to plan, there's grading to do when kids finish homework from the work book. . . there's A LOT. And today I was just feeling really overwhelmed by it all. First of all, because monday is my busiest day (I have five english classes on mondays) and second of all, because majority of the students didn't do their homework and the 3rd graders just plain didn't remember/get anything from last thursdays' lesson. So I was just feeling really overwhelmed and vulnerable to spiritual attack. Like, as soon as one of the third graders told me they didn't do their homework because they really didn't understand, I immediately thought "it's cause I'm a bad teacher." I knew it was a spiritual attack, but it sounded so true in the moment. 

So later I was sitting in the "library" (it's really not much of a library right about now) trying to grade papers but not being able to because I was just feeling really low, when a friend walked in and asked what was the matter. I told him that everything was just not coming together right about now and I was feeling like I just want to teach the students to the best of my ability but I feel like I'm not doing that, and I feel like a bad teacher if they don't get it, and I just feel plain overwhelmed. He said a lot of very encouraging things. Including reminding me of some truths that I was forgetting lately: considering the fact that I have never gone to college, I just had to pick up 4 new english classes in one weekend, of course I'm going to feel overwhelmed. But the fact is that whether or not I have a college education isn't what will carry me or make me a better teacher here; the fact that I am here teaching because I have a desire to serve and a passion to teach and I absolutely adore kids, THAT is what will keep me here and make me the best teacher I could possibly be. And, most important of all, God is never going to leave me to do this on my own. Ever. I need to remember to put my trust in Him. He is my rock and my redeemer. 

Those were good encouraging words. I think it can just be overwhelming when I feel like there is so much I would like to do with the kids, but not enough class time or not enough time to prep. But it's ok. I serve a Mighty God. He is where I find my strength and where I place my trust. 

Some really, REALLY great news lately: I have had the blessing lately to begin discipling a girl one-on-one here. She is about 17 and recently decided to return to the church. Edison knows her pretty well, and she said she was wanting to get back involved, but really wanted to have someone lead her in a sort of Bible study to really get a solid faith base going. Edison suggested me, and we met last week and I'll be getting together with her again later today, which I'm really excited about. She's really a sweet girl with a genuine heart. I'm so blessed and humbled by this opportunity to be used in her life. I look forward to the ways that I will grow and be stretched in this time as well. Yay God! :)

I Belong Here

Today was the first day with students. It was a gorgeous day from the beginning. Classes start at 7:30, and I didn't have an English class until 9:15, so I had some time just to spend with kids and get to know some of them and see their excited faces for the first day of school. One of the little girls who came was crying and didn't want to go into class. She's in 4to de Basica (3rd grade), in Edison's class, and was standing at the gate clinging to her mother and balling. Edison was trying to get her to come into the school, but she refused to let go of her mom. Edison kept looking back towards his classroom and I could tell he was thinking that he should go back with his student, so I asked if I could stay with the girl. Her name is Nayeli. After her mom finally pried Nayeli's death grip from her arm, Nayeli was sobbing uncontrollably. I stood next to her and rubbed her back, and just waited until she calmed down a bit. After she had stopped crying, she still didn't want to leave the gate, so I stood with her and asked her questions about her summer vacation, her family, what were some of her favorite school subjects. . . lots of different things to take her mind off of missing her mom. She didn't want to go into the classroom, so I told her that was ok, that we could just hang out and we would go to the class when she was ready. I gave her the option of going to look at the new computer lab and library, and she liked that idea so after 30 minutes of standing in front of the school gate, we made some progress by going into the school. Her class was going outside to do an activity, and I asked if she would like to see the classroom while the kids are out. She said yes, so she accompanied me to look at the room. We found her desk and set her backpack there, then she accompanied me to the 3to de Basica classroom because they were my first english class today. They are sooo adorable!! I introduced myself and taught the kids a simple good morning song, and asked them what they think they would like about english. They said they loved singing english songs. :) We played a name game, and then the class was over. After that, I led an activity with Edwin, the language professor for the secondary kids (grades 7 - 9), since he and I will be paired up leading a reading activity sort of like "big brother, big sister" with kids from 3rd/6th grade, and then 2nd/7th grade. we played a game I learned at camp, and they LOVED it. It made me laugh to see them play, and Nayeli helped me lead the game. After that, we had snack time in the cafeteria, and Nayeli told me that after recess she felt ready to go to class. I was so excited for her! I took her to the classroom and sat with her for a few minutes, and then went to go see Ivonne. I was telling her about Nayeli, and how excited I was that she made it into the classroom, and Ivonne told me that Nayeli has had a very rough last few months. Her father passed away from a brain tumor in May, and this is her first year at Emmanuel because of a scholarship that the family received. She has been taking a lot of her mother's pain from losing her father, and feels responsible for her mother's happiness a lot lately. My heart sank just thinking how much weight she was carrying on such tiny shoulders. But at the same time, when we were at recess playing a game, I saw her smile for the first time that day. And we talked a bit when we went into the library, and it was such a joy and a blessing to witness her open up a little bit more. 

I went back into the classroom ten minutes before the bell was going to ring to end the day to say goodbye to Nayeli and the rest of the kids. In Ecuador, when the kids leave, they all kiss the professor (girls kiss the male and female professors on the cheek, and boys kiss the female professors, but shake the hands of the male professors). So while they were getting their things in their backpacks, Edison said "besa la señorita" and I received 23 sets of arms around my beck to pull my head down to their level, accompanied with 23 sweet little kisses on my cheek. It made my day!! 

Today was such a beautiful day. Not because of the weather, but because of the joy of having the kids in school and having such a prominent feeling of purpose and belonging throughout the day. I am so thankful that God has called me here this year. I am in love with these kids already! When I went into the 3to de Basica class for the English lesson, I asked if any of the kids remembered my name from the Inauguration ceremony the day before. One of the girls raised her hand, and said "your name is Ali, and you have the most beautiful singing voice I've ever heard!" :) At the inauguration, I sang "Open the Eyes of My Heart" after Samuel sang it in spanish. 

I am so excited to be a part of these kids lives this year, and to get to know the girls who will be in the discipleship group. It is so excited to now have started the school year!! 

What a beautiful day. 

"Because your love is better than life, 

my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live, 

and in your name I will lift up my hands. 

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise you. . .

my soul clings to you, 

Your right hand upholds me."

-Psalm 63:3-5; 8

Traditional

Yesterday evening we went out to hermana Patricia and hermano Pedro's house for dinner. They cooked us up a very traditional and DELICIOUS Ecuadorian meal of Ianpacos (eye-ann-pacos), yucca, rice, and guayusa (why-use-a). Ianpacos is a dish that is cooked wrapped up in a banana leaf or an Ianpaco leaf, of chicken with palm and onions cooked over a coal barbecue. It is absolutely delicious. Yucca is a vegetable similar to a potato in appearance, but not quite the same in texture. Guayusa is a very sweet tea; it almost tastes like pure honey and sugar. It has about the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee. It is the tea of Macas, and has a lot of interesting stories tied into it's history. The Shuar women used to make the tea by rubbing the leaf against their outer thigh because it was considered to make it sweeter (ha ha!). I was also told that women should drink it when they are trying to get pregnant, because it makes them fertile. Lastly, the legend I have heard the most since I've been here, is that when you drink guayusa, you can't leave Macas (or at least stay away for too long). 

A lot of the older women in the church have already started to tell me they really want me to marry one of the guys here so that I can stay in Macas. It is so funny to me to hear them talk, because they say things like "Ali, the Ecuadorian men are very good men. They are romantics. They will take good care of you." and things like that, as if to persuade me. :) They love teasing me about a specific guy named Manolo after I told them I love piano music, because Manolo plays the piano and sings wonderfully. They said we would be a perfect match, because he wants to be a missionary too. We could serve the LORD during the day, and in the evenings he could sit at the piano and sing to me. :) I always tell them I wouldn't be against marrying an Ecuadorian, but I'm not seeking a husband while I'm here, either. 

I feel flattered more than anything when the women and other people in the church make comments like that. Comments that mean they like me and want me to stay. To know that you are appreciated and accepted so quickly is an amazing feeling. I feel so honored and humbled when someone tells me they are so glad I am here, or they tell me they don't want me to leave. My friend Edwin today told me that he thinks this is going to be a very blessed year. I asked him why, and he said "because we have the blessing of you living and serving here in Macas with us." I tried to say that I was the one who was blessed to be here with everyone, and he just kept repeating " un año bendicida". A blessed year. :)

New friends and favorites

Wednesday and Thursday have been my favorite days so far. Joshua, Caleb, and I met up with Isaac and the kids from the orphanage at the park. Isaac is 22 and is originally from BC Canada. His family lives in Riobamba, Ecuador and runs an orphanage there. He moved here to Macas last year to start an orphanage after hearing that there was a need for one in the city. There are about 12 kids that are living in the orphanage, and most of them are jungle kids. Isaac says he's strict about rules with them because a lot of them have never had anyone care before about what they did or when they did it. I had so much fun playing with the kids! One of the little boys in the orphanage, Daniel, is 7 and has a mental and physical disability. He always runs up to me and tugs on my shirt to pick him up. When I do, he gives me a big kiss on the cheek. Isaac was telling me (while Daniel was hitting him) that Daniel only hits people he likes. I said that was pretty funny, because so far all he's ever done is kissed me. He told me Daniel must hate me then. :) 

Another wonderful thing about the park is that it is at the top of a hill that has a 360 degree view of the city and surrounding jungle. It was BEAUTIFUL. We could see the Sangay Volcano because the sky was so clear; I was told you're lucky if you see it 5 times in a year. You could see the whole volcano and it's HUGE. It's so close to the city! Another gorgeous view was of the river that runs through the jungle. 

I think I've found my new favorite spot in the city. I'd like to make the walk out to the park ocasionally in the evenings just to sit and look out at the beauty God has created encircling Macas. 

The orphanage house is on the other side of the city from where I live, and I went there yesterday to visit Isaac and the play with the kids. He doesn't really get to spend a lot of time with people over the age of ten, so he invited me to come over whenever I had some free time. After talking to Isaac for awhile, I asked him who cut all the kids hair. He said someone at church usually does, but the kids hadn't had haircuts in months. I told him I cut my brothers' hair every now and again, and he got really excited. I told him I like cutting hair and would gladly cut the kids' hair sometime. "How about right now?" was his response, so I said of course. For the rest of the afternoon, I gave haircuts to 10 of the kids. He didn't have a buzzer, so I had to cut the boys' hair by hand and it took a little longer than I'm used to. I cut Anaela's hair first of the girls, and she wanted a chin-length bob with bangs. After I cut here hair like that, all of the girls wanted the exact same hair cut. So I guess I'm responsible if Isaac can't tell the girls apart anymore. :) 

I was NOT killing chickens!

I made the subject line because today I was doing a lot of painting at the school on the stair rails and walls, and I happened to be using red paint. One of the men from the church came by the school during the day and seeing my legs and arms covered in swipes of red, thought he'd tease me and asked me if I had been out killing chickens for dinner. The funny thing is, he knew I would see it as a joke, but it wouldn't be surprising if I had said yes. Well, maybe it would be surprising if I did because I'm the American, but not if one of the other women at the church said yes. 

Another funny story tied in to the painting theme was that today I wore really basic, not at all flattering clothes to paint in. I had on some basketball shorts and one of my soccer T-shirts. Ivonne and I were talking about how guys always whistle at you when you are walking down the streets. And I mean always. Yesterday when I was walking outside after church, I think I walked about 4 blocks and was whistled at about 3 different times. So, Ivonne and I were joking that today I would be off the hook since I obviously looked completely unattractive. But we STILL got whistled at, and I just said, "why?!" We were laughing for a long time. Edison was trying to convince me that I should see it as a compliment here if I get whistled at. "It's not like in the states," he said, "it's much more respectful for a man to whistle at you here." Yeah right. It's just more common. There are also little things that are funny to me about how forward the guys are here; They will always tell me without feeling like they would embarass me if they think I look attractive or when they look at my pictures, they'll say "te mires bien guapa" (you look really good/attractive). They will call mi "Alita Linda", or bonita, or guambita, or just linda all the time. After Edison greeted me one morning by saying "hola guambita linda", I asked him why he always had to say that. He said "well, you're beautiful. At least no one is saying 'hi, ugly lady'. You better get used to people flattering you. It's a compliment." They are just more straighforward, I guess. Not that I'm offended. ;)

I am really enjoying the two friends that I have grown closest with thus far: Ivonne and Edison. Edison doesn't speak any english, but he tries, which is REALLY funny, and he is always laughing. He has this crazy laugh and I love it because we all know I have quite a unique laugh, so it feels good to know another person can have just as interesting of a laugh. And I absolutely love Ivonne. We play off each other very well; we are always joking around and laughing together. I am so incredibly thankful that the LORD had Ivonne set out to be my roommate and friend. I adore her. 

Praise the LORD, I am falling in love with this city and these people. 

Holding on in Trust

This is an entry I wrote yesterday before I had a chance to get on the internet:

After Ivonne and I kept busy yesterday decorating the room, it was nice to have a mellow day today. We woke up at about 8:30 (which is actually the latest I've slept in so far. The sun rises at about 6:30 every morning, so it's actually harder to stay in bed after 7 unless you really try), had some breakfast, played with the boys and read. While we were reading at about noon, the catholic church that sits kitty-corner from mine and Ivonne's room started to play some music over their loudspeakers just before making a general announcement. It was about a festival they are having this evening to celebrate the virgin Mary. after making the announcement they played a little more music. Ivonne said they make announcements a lot, which is not something I'm looking forward to, because it's very loud and we keep the window open to try and keep things somewhat cool, so it's even louder still. 

I went on a walk this afternoon with Wendy and Joshua (he's the four year old) to go see the tailer who will be working on my teaching uniform. We walked along a trail that is right across from the jungle area and it was BEAUTIFUL. I'm really excited to live so close to such beautiful, lush forests. On a good day, when there aren't as many clouds in the sky, there is a beautiful view from the school of the Sangay Volcano. It's not very far away; just outside of the city limits. Ivonne said the trail we will be using on our runs takes us right by the river through a small part of the forest. I'm excited!

I still can't really believe I'm here. I mena, when I walk the streets and go to the stores or am at the house with Robin, wendy, Ivonne and the boys, I know I'm here. But it's still foreign and scary territory to me when I think about just how long I'll be here for. Not in an I-don't-want-to-be-here sort of scary, but in the sense that I've never done anything like this before and just the thought of days, weeks and months here can be so overwhelming and terrifying sometimes. I don't really know how to describe the difference between cold feet and just the fear of the unkown. But even with that weak spot, I know that God has a purpose behind all of this. Because of that, I rest in the assurance that He has brought me here and He is faithful. "When I am most afraid, I put my trust in You; in God I put my trust, fearing nothing [Psalm 56:3-4]". 

I thank God and relish in the moments where my spirit is stirred with joy and peace in knowing that this is where God has called me to be. Like when Pastor Domingo greeted me at the prayer meeting Thursday night. He embraced me in this big, bear hug and told me he and his wife have been praying for me ever since they first learned I would be coming, and were so excited for me and blessed to have me as a missionary at the school. He called me "nuestra Hermanita Ali" as he introduced me to the rest of the church. Or when Ivonne and i prayed together the night before she went to Cuenca for the weekend to see her family. I had been praying throughout the year that God would bring me a sister that I could pray with, be real with, and share in fellowship with throughout the year. When we prayed together, I knew that Ivonne would be that sister for me. My heart couldn't stop leaping. Ivonne told me later that she hadn't prayed with a friend like that in years, and was moved to tears. I was so overwhelmed with humility in realizing that not only did God answer my prayers by giving me the accountability and fellowship I needed in Ivonne, but He also wanted to use me to answer her spiritual needs. I am countinually astounded by how intricately God works. It's such a beautiful, awe-inspiring and humbling thing to witness.